Dancing, Romans and religious artwork!

On Sunday Andrew drove Bec, Brendan, Dad and I out to Downe House. Downe House is where Charles Darwin used to live. It was fucking awesome. To make it cooler the audio tour was narrated by DAVID ATTENBOROUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111 whichis just cool.
we all went for a walk in Downe House gardens and Bec and I went slightly hyper and went off on our own and bec had a parasol which was actually a stick. Most of the car trip Brendan was reading “Confessions of a Working Girl” which Chelsea will know ALL about ;). Bec and I had great fun reading alternate words aloud in an attempt to embarrass Brendan.

The ultimate plan of the day was to go and see Leeds Castle, which failed as all the roads that we knew of that took us to leeds were blocked off. So, instead we looked at a Roman Villa instead it was very nice. First archaeological site I’ve ever seen and it made me very happy :D  only problem was they didn’t have enough interpretation and suchlike on it so it was abit …lacking.

Then we heard that there was a castle just up the road from the roman villa, so we went for a happy little walk through the countryside… and then discovered that it cost like £6 to get in and we were like FUCK THAT SHIT. and went on a walk by the river instead. And there we found something awesome! The secret entrance to a troglodite society!

The entrance!

We figured that it was perhaps an old guardpost or a mausoleum or a really old pizza oven or something like that form the castle nearby as there was still all sorts other part ruined things about the place.

creeepy inside!

Indiana Jones! omg!

Then that night Andrew took Dad and I to Ceroc dancing. It’s like a jive thing. I am very very much not a dancing person… so the introductory lesson was heinous. I didn’t want to dance and i had to dance with all these strange old men and suchlike. on the occaision I found the dance moves to be a little too intimate for my liking with a random stranger. So the instant I could weasel out of it, I did. And promptly had some bourbon… The lady that ran it kept coming up to me and asking if I was ok and so forth. it was weird. Eventually she convinced Dad and I to go downstairs to the more one on one teaching session. Tehre were two proffessional teachers and only about six other people. This made it a much more respectable environment.  So I quickly went high and was my snarky smartarsed self to the teacher who was very cool. And then people said I was picking it up very well.

Then came the freestyle. I didn’t particularly want to dance. so, I got another bourbon. Then the teacher from the class came downand asked me to dance. so I had to down my bourbon and go out onto the floor. It was strange. They were playing Christina Aguilera’s Candy Man which I loathe, and then he kept spinning me and spinning me and there were flashing colourful lights so it was like a small trip or something.
Some other people danced with me that night too, but the teacher danced with me like 3 times all up. He was cool, the second time he asked: “Are you feeling adventurous?” and when I said yes he asked me how my back was and i told him it was fine and the next thing I know my legs are wrapped around his chest and I am hanging upside down!!!! It was the COOLEST THING IN THE WHOLE WORLD. And of course I screamed with delight for the next five minutes. Apparently he wasn’t supposed to do those advanced moves wiht me but I didn’t care cause they were fun and my back was not at all damaged by them!  Dancing can be fun, I have decided, when I can actually let myself let the man lead. Letting someone else lead is a very strange thing.

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Monday:

This day Andrew didn’t come out with us, but Dad did. We first went to the Natural History Museum, which was utterly packed. It was dreadful. We ended up seeing the dinosaurs and like mammals bit and that was it becuase there were too many people it was awful. Dad then decided he was going to go off and get Andrew and to find the British Museum. We were going to find the BM later… First we were to walk the length of bloody South Kensington to find a bloody fish and chip shop. (Come take a walk in Sunny South Kensington, any day of the week… See the girl with the silk chinese blouse on, you know she ain’t know freak mmhmm) so we then went into Leicester Square and went to a pub there. We had a couple and a massive meal of fish and chips.

We couldn’t find “bloomsbury” which is where we were told the British Museum was, so we gave up on that plan and went to the Art Gallery just down the road instead. It was highly entertaining. Never have I had so much fun in an art gallery before. It was all like Renaissance religious art type stuff. Bec and I went totally high… making commentary on each picture the whole way through it was great. Brendan spent most of the time sort of glowering at us because we weremaking a racket and making it at religious artwork. But we eventually made him squeak which was excellent.
We thought of the best little song and dance number to go with this one painting. Jesus had both his hands to one side, possibly being nailed to a tree or something… who knows but it looked like he was doing a dance, with the song to match:

“Do it thiiss way,
Do it myyy way,
For I am jeesuss”

We then proceeded to do that song and dance while on the tube. it was great.

Then we went and organised their stuff for their contiki tour of europe for the next day and i sat on the internet and looked at long anticipated emails from beloved Steven.

then we went to the pub and got mildly tipsy. I missed my train, so I had to wait around at Charring Cross station for like half an hour all on my own at 10.30 ish at night… and then by the time I got out to Hayes it was almost midnight. And I walked through hayes ALL ON MY OWN! I was very proud. I didn’t get mugged or anything. I wasn’t terribly scared either. I just put the hood up on my Canada hoodie and looked butch!

Then Maisie told me that London had just had a HUGE knife crime scare, and that I was incredibly lucky even though Hayes is like the outer ‘burbs of London… So I now feel hugely brave and shit.

but this sucked slightly as I had to get up very early the next morning so that I could go to Aber…